The Serpent in the Sky

What a spectacular sight!! A full lunar eclipse on a recently-uncommon clear night. It was gorgeous! To see the full curve of the planet rapidly phase out the white of the full moon, instilled a sense of reality to this galactic dance that due to its sheer mass is typically only evident in models and simulations. It's no wonder the rare event spurred such fantastic stories and explanations in the days before science. The Moon looked directly at the Earth tonight. A little further into its journey away from us, I was left to wonder just what world will command it's view in another 7 years. I sense the world is going through one of those 'times' that is reflected upon decades and in some cases; centuries later. Next week is a big week.

Bathroom Madness!!! Part 2

Well, we're living in the lap of luxury now!! The bathroom is 97% finished!! (the other 3% is reserved for getting the paint off the floor and replacing an outlet face plate) I have never been prouder of any project in my life, having successfully accomplished the necessary plumbing, walling, and flooring by myself!! My Dad, who I regard as the Super-Hero of all trades, tried in vain to teach me a lot of structural things when I was young, and I have regretted for many years not paying more attention to his skills. I guess I simply had to learn the same way he did, through trial and error.



Although the bathroom is essentially completed, I have had my eye on one of those space-aged toilets at Home Depot that can flush 12 golf balls at once (for those dour situations when I've gone and eaten another dozen golf balls). Every time we visit the store, I am somehow drawn to the toilet aisle by forces unknown, to admire and marvel at the monsterous porcelain sculpture of modern convenience. They are truly works of art, and effortlessly dwarf the run-of-the-mill units I have at home. The other morning, after taking another look at the awkward contrast between our new sink (see below) and our beige toilet, I decided I was going online to purchase one of those big bastards, and what better place to do so than HomeDepot.com.



Type-type-type-type-type....load-load-load... Okay now, Products, Plumbing....load-load-load.... Hmmmm, where are the toilets... type-type-type...load-load-load... TOILETS Search...load-load-load... Toilet Plugs, Toilet Plungers, Toilet Chains, Toilet Cleaners... Give me a f*cking break! Where are the damn toilets!! It wasn't even 7AM, and like most other male mammals considering their shelter, my primitive brain was in full swing and I wasn't about ready to start reading stuff. Precious minutes passed, as I struggled to find anything with a picture of a toilet and an Add-to-cart button. Nothing... Terrible navigation logic!! To hell with you HomeDepot.com!!!




The next day we paid a hasty visit to the physical store in a mad search for an outdoor fireplace (didn't find one there but ended up getting a really nice one later, the deck is still in tact!). I decided to ask one of the friendly staff members if I could trouble them for one of their catalogues, so I could further consider my toilet purchase in the comfort of my own home. The lady, who looked to be in her mid-60's, and obviously at the dusk of her technological day of understanding, kindly responded: "We don't have any paper catalogues, but you can go put the CD-Rom into the internet website and see all the products on the computer screen."... I briefly considered the moral consequences of responding "You have an internet website??!!! Wow!! I never would have imagined!! Can I get to it at home?!!", but decided to simply accept her solution and smile in gratitude. There has been no toilet purchase to date.

The Deer Hunters

Autumn has cast its crisp winds upon the northeast, leaving the once-lush and green woods with a thick carpet of dry leaves; a plentiful reminder of the short-comings of a deciduous lifestyle. The evergreens are a hardier bunch, unintimidated by the 50 less degrees and the soon to be 100 less degrees once Autumn freezes into the Winter months, they stand proud and unchanged. This morning, as I fumbled for the door knob to let into the wild those wide-eyed savages we feed, bath, clothe, and shelter, I took special notice of how naked those woods looked after a windy night. I could see nearly twice as far into the suburban wilderness and it didn't take long for my un-glassed eyes, nor the eyes of those wolf-cousins, to see two massive bucks enjoying an early morning graze in the forest. They could have been caribou for all I could tell through my blurry eyes, they were glorious specimens of the northern woods! Tall necks and proud chests, alert tails and full racks of pointed horns. They must have been some freak survivors of the prehistoric ages, somehow moseying on down to Maine through the nearly unknown Arctic wild, unseen, undocumented. The dogs spent little time reviling in the beauty of the bucks, before they ran at full canter towards the trespassers (prowlers beware), eyes wild and barking like mad sea lions. That sudden THUD of the bucks huge chests realizing the situation and heavy hoofs taking them away from it, brought me into full consciousness and I yelled to the dogs to call off their offensive flank. It was a true moment of nature; a man and his wolves standing at the cave entrance, fending off mother natures fearsome goons from the homefront. I have never been prouder of those dogs... those wolves... those masters of the wilderness.